its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No subtext here. People are naked.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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