i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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