Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize