dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
