I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
