I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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