You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
