69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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