That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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