But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
