ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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