dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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