There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
