I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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