lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
