TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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