a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let's paint friendship bongs
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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