i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
