she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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