Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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