Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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