Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
