Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize