I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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