scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize