i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
