Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
