Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
