just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
