IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Less talking, more tequila
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
