remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
