so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's shark week go big or go home
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
