Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
