You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I had to cum in my sink.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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