Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize