Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize