why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
