I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
