Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm always down for nudity.
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