TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
