I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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