We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
