i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
