he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize