i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My dick has a subreddit
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
