Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
