Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
