Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i believe in u and ur pee
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
