i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've blown a few things in my day
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
