Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
