It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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