Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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