Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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