I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
