just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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