So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
