sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
